Hearing God's Voice, 123...

^"2 But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice."...¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me"  John 10:2-5,14

Recognizing Jesus's voice is the birthright of every Christian, but it doesn't come automatically.  Just as a baby learns to recognize the voice of his mother, we have to actively work to learn the voice of our Heavenly Father.  One of the best ways to learn to hear God's voice is through the Bible.  A good friend of mine, uses a journaling process she calls 123 to teach people how to hear God's voice and it's probably the best process I've seen to date. 

1.  Write in the journal the date, time and scripture passage you're reading that day.
2.  Read the passage, paying attention for what God wants to say to you.  It is God's word.  It is living and active and He will use it to speak to you.  When you find what He wants to say, paraphrase it in your journal as if He is speaking it directly to you (because He is!!)
3.  Write a prayer of response back to Him.  You can tell him what you are going to change because of what He has spoken into your life, or describe to Him how it changes the way you see the world, or you can just write a prayer of gratitude. 

If you can, keep the journal close to you all day and meditate on it throughout the day.  Keeping your conversations with God in a journal is powerful and helps you see what kinds of themes God is using with you over time.  It's amazing to look back and see how God has changed you and what He has brought you through. 

If you want to meet my dear friend, Linda Meyers leads a Bible Study for women called LIFT (Ladies in Fellowship Together) every Wednesday night at 6:30 at First Baptist Church, Winter Garden. 

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Collage by Altered Angel

A few days ago, I wrote about taking every thought captive.  David frequently fought depression and fear, yet his actions rarely showed his inner struggle.  Throughout the Psalms, he gives us great examples of how to take our thoughts captive.  One of the best examples is in Ps. 42 and 43.  The chorus of the song always comes back to:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 

David recognizes that his emotional state is temporary so he disciplines his thoughts to return to the good times before God rather than staying in a place of agony.  Even when his thoughts return to his pain, he drags them back to memories of worship.  He meditates on the possibilities of worship in the future, turning that thought over in his mind again and again. 

During my own long seasons of depression, I remained in the Psalms for years.  There are 150 Psalms, which means you can read 5 a day every month or you can take 5 months to go through the book.  The 31st of each month I'd do a few stanzas from Ps 119--just because it is long.  The praise would lift my heart.  The cries of distress would echo my own aches.  Through it all, I would be continually reminded that God is good and recentering my thoughts on Him would yield fruit if I waited. 

It will yield fruit for you too...

Gratitude Check

Around our house we have two "checks."  The first one is an attitude check.  When someone is giving me a bad attitude, I say attitude check and the appropriate response is "Praise the Lord."  The second is a gratitude check.  It works best when we're overwhelmed.  I say gratitude check and a number.  The person then has to say that number of things for which they are grateful.  You can't say anything you've said before (unless you really mean it in a different way this time).  Usually by the time the attitude check or a Gratitude check is finished, perspective is regained and there is enough peace to move forward. 

Today is the first quiet day with no kids at home and no paid work to do.  I've been going over the program for PJ's therapy this year that the neurodevelopmentalist created.  If I were to do it all, the program would take 4 hours each day.  Too much.  I've pared it down and shifted some things throughout the day, but I'm still pretty overwhelmed.  It's a lot to do and every bit of it is important.  On top of 7th grade, it feels like a monumental undertaking.  My friend just called and she may get evicted this week while she's halfway across the country and can't do anything about it.  Double overwhelm. 

There are so many verses that run through my head:

• "My God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in Glory." 
• "I have been abased.  I have abounded.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
• "With God, nothing is impossible."
• "All things work together for the good of those who love Christ and are the called according to His purposes." 
• "Fear not, little ones. It is the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom."
• "All Your waves and breakers have washed over me."

Time for a Gratitude Check (7):

1. We know what's wrong with PJ and know what we can do about it.
2. Katie has good teachers and support staff and is doing as well as she can so she doesn't need a lot of attention right now.
3. Some of the work will overlap between the two kids--double benefit.
4. I'm not working full time in an office at the other side of town so I have the time to work with him.
5. I have time to organize a schedule and systems that will help keep us on track.
6. I am not alone--The Lord, My God, is my Father, my friend and my love.  He is with me and will help me do this.
7. I am trained as an engineer and know how to systematically break big jobs down into managable pieces.  I wasn't born that way, but I can do it because I have been trained to do it.

 Thank You, Father.  I trust You to help me do all I need to do.

Out of work, again?

I have to admit.  Trust doesn't come easy with Me.  The Lord works really hard to continue to win my trust--something He shouldn't have to do, but He condescends to my weakness. 

This week I turned in the final report draft to our review team.  As soon as I turned it in, John asked me if that means my job is over. The truth is that it probably does.  There will be a little more work but it will end soon. When I lost my job 17 months ago, I started a business and it's doing ok, but not great--we've done better than break even but it hasn't brought in anything close to the income I made before.  I got this job working for UF when I looked into do a PhD.  It's been a good research project and it's come out in a completely different way than it would have with a typical grad student straight out of school.  It's also been a small but steady income. 

Most of the time, I'm not all that concerned about that because I really do trust that the Lord will provide. When He asked me to go back to work, I went back on the condition that I would do what He sent me, but I wouldn't look for it.  That way things wouldn't get out of balance.  He's always sent me what I needed and we're doing ok. 

Just as a confirmation that He will provide, less than an hour after I sent the last chapter out, I received the contract I've been expecting for over a month.  Yaay!!  So what about the worry?  It's a continuing services contract--I need to have costly insurance for it and I have no idea if I'll get any work from it at all.  It's just a part of business and I knew I would need to do it at some point.  A contract is a contract--and a glimmer of hope for consistent work. 

Still, I'm human and My Father and Friend knows that at some point I could worry and I don't like to risk money.  Just so that I would really get that He has this all in His control, last night He set up another divine appointment:

As I went into the prayer room before the service, I felt a familiar divine stillness--He wasn't pressing me to pray about anything, just wait in His presence.  I could hear the worship time coming to an end but His presence wouldn't lift and allow me to go into join it.  After a little while, the same couple came in and joined me that had come a few weeks ago.  I prayed with them again and they chose to stay and just sit in the stillness with me.  I laid hands on his head to pray for him because he has frequent headaches.  Usually as God heals people when I lay hands on them I feel their pain and feel it release as He provides healing. It gives me a sense of compassion for them, shows me where to pray and sometimes even why they hurt.  This time, though I felt the Spirit's blessing on Him, I felt nothing else. 

We talked for awhile longer about the delight of seeing God work and at some point I mentioned that I happen to be a traffic engineer.  He mentioned his fears about a roadway that had been planned through a mobile home park he owns.  Before we parted, he asked for a business card.  There are many ways I could help him in the future, if he needs it.  Nothing is guaranteed, but I could easily recognize the nod from My Friend that He has my work life in His control.

Thanks!

A living and active Word

I've been devouring scripture since I was a toddler.  My mom first started reading the Bible through with us when I was 2 and all that was available was King James (and not the New King James).  I have a strong auditory memory, so I've retained much of it, in the language it was first delivered to me.  I haven't intentionally memorized it, but I know it, nearly word for word.  It remains precious to me and I continue to devour it daily--to the best of my ability.   I have found it to be living and active--sharper than any two edged sword. 

Still, sometimes a new translation or a new season of life comes along and those old familiar passages take on a new vibrance--a new richness--and my heart is passionately enflamed again.  It's like walking the same familiar paths and finding them enrobed in a sunrise at spring when all is ablaze and blooming.  It was beautiful before but it becomes entrancing and makes me pause in wonder. 

For instance, Romans 5 is a familiar passage that I've heard all of my life (mostly in New International Version): 

Bok Tower Gardens

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

This is great stuff--talking about the way that God uses suffering to mold us into the character of Christ.  Here's Eugene Peterson's take on the beginning of Romans 5 in The Message:

"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.  There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"  Romans 5:1-5

See how what was familiar stands out with a new vibrance?  Just the phrase, "passionate patience" will hang with me the rest of the day, inviting me to chew on it in great delight.  Just like the two pictures above, the same place moves from simply beautiful to extravagantly amazing. 

If your time with the Lord has become stilted or dull, try checking out a new version of the same passages.  Compare them side by side.  Let your mind and heart be stirred to see the nuances scholars have observed in the original text.  Be careful to listen as the Holy Spirit points out new words or phrases from the "same old, same old" passages.  Write down what He points out so you can meditate on it throughout the day and come back to it weeks later.  Let it stir you to reconsider what the Word means in your life.  

You may never be the same.

The prayers God loves to answer!

About 9 years ago, my good friend, Will Blaine asked me to pray for him every Monday. He was the children's pastor at our church then and I was more than eager to to do that.  I checked up with him every week to see what was going on and since we were together often as we worked in church, I could usually pray very intentionally for the things he needed--though I would ask anyway.  To help me remember, I've used the online application Echo Prayer for about 7 years now.  I schedule reminders like his throughout the week at consistent times and pray when I get the text or e-mail.  In fact, I pray every time I see it so sometimes that means I get to pray about it multiple times during the week.  As long as I have had some personal time with my Father and Friend for the two of us each morning, He provides the power to pray for those on my list as a part of my everyday routines. 

This year, my friend Miki, challenged me to pray more intentionally and with more accountability for those in my church, family and circle of influence, in ways that are similar to how George Mueller prayed.  George Mueller would list all of the things he needed God to provide for His work in a ledger and update the ledger, detailing the answers God sent, whether they were large or small.  Rather than having FBC/O come up daily at lunchtime, I rescheduled them to early morning and broke it down into each of the major ministries in the church.  This was scattered in with various pastors and ministers that are close to my heart.  Each day as the reminder comes, I forward the request to that person to ask if there's anything specific they need.  I ask them frequently what they would like to see God do and how would they know when He had?  That keeps the requests specific and gives us the chance to praise Him when He answers--and He does.  I try to keep a spreadsheet of how God has answered the prayers we've asked.  What a joy!

This morning, I got a response back from one of our youth pastors regarding the in-town summer missions trip that the youth department is leading.  He asked that the kids get a heart for always being on mission rather than just going on a mission trip.  What a great request!!!  The verse that immediately came to mind was: 

^"14 And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. ¹⁵ And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for."--I John 5:14-15 

Now, I'm not only excited to see what is going to happen with them during the mission trip but excited to see what God will be doing with them over their lives because of it.  That is a prayer request I will delight in laying before the Father over and over!!! 

Neon Stop Signs

 "Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything."
Ps. 46:10 (MSG)

I think it's funny that my dear Friend would orchestrate this amazing verse to refer to my career, not just my life.  (I happen to be a transportation engineer and planner.)  It's as if he wrote a huge, flashing neon sign saying, "This means you!!"

Being still is not something I innately treasure, though it has become a delight as I grow older and busier.  Without time to take that long loving look at my Lord Jesus, I end up working like the devil--hurried, frantic and ineffective--"All sound and fury signifying nothing."  I look like I'm doing a bunch but nothing gets accomplished. 

That's when I have to make a choice:  Do I want to look good or be good?  Do I want to please men or God?  Proverbs 29:25 tells us the fear of man (people pleasing) is a snare.  When the boss shows up, people cry "Look busy!!" but that is a kind of work that just wears you out.  God's work is the kind of work that happens in pregnancy.  You do what you can and He does the real work.  That's what Jesus talked about when He said, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."  It's not about image, it's about growing and stretching so that something vibrant and alive can be birthed in and through you. 

Father, I love Your stillness.  It gives me solid ground for standing and clarity of mind.  Thanks!

Journalling and God's presence

Yesterday in staff meeting they asked how we deal with worry. God has really freed me of a familial tendency to worry over the last few weeks--at least it isn't as bad as usual. After our company president mentioned prayer as one answer, I noted that a prayer journal helps me to let things go and trust that God has heard and does answer.

Unfortunately, a few months ago my dog ate my journal--the elegant brocade binding chewed, the velvet cover slobbered on. For awhile I could still use it but without the backs it was getting harder to write. Gone was my normal routine. I wake up in the night frustrated or worried and I don't have my journal to pour my prayers into. God's presence has been no less real and his comfort has not abated, but it puts a cramp into my style. You think I write a bunch here...

This weekend I glued it back together and am using up the final 10 pages or so. It's a relief to have it back, but it's equally comforting that even when I'm robbed of my normal pathways to His presence, His lovingkindness (hessed) endures forever.

This leads me to the book recommendation for the week. One of my all time favorite books is Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas. In it, he discusses 9 different ways to worship and how we all by gift or by temprement favor some over others. As a contemplative, I prefer quietly meditating or writing in my journal. Of course, I have day's that my favorite worship pathway is tilting windmills. It's comforting to me that the God of all of those pathways will use whatever is needed to connect with us, even when our normal routines are trashed...which seems to be more routine than not.