Choosing your focus...

^"1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."  Colossians 3:1-4

^"4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."  Is 26:4


 Circumstances are the most distracting things in the world and attitude is absolutely crucial in the middle of a battleground.  Because we are called by God to be conformed to the image of His son, we are in a battleground.  Our enemy's primary targets are our children, our marriages, our calling. 

This morning, (for that matter, this whole week) has been a struggle, and the battleground has been in my mind.  It's a battle to decide whether I'll be looking at the pain of my circumstances or the provision of My Lord.  This time it truly is a heart battle.  It's about my attitude.  Do I believe I am loved or that I am useless?  Who do I believe? 

What I believe is dependent on where I focus.  This morning, my Father's message was "Watch Me."  There have been moments today that were hard, moments that were productive.  In the end, He wins a little more each day.  It's good enough for now. 

My provider

Yesterday, I had a meltdown in the middle of the day.  No one was here.  I needed to consult with PJ's therapy director but I just couldn't bear the weight of my pain anymore.  I usually do pretty well in general.  I know the path I'm on.  It's not an easy one, but I know my life is going in the right direction.  I'm walking in obedience and it's just a matter of being disciplined enough to stay on the path.  Unfortunately, my dreams at night tend to trip me up a bit.  That's when I have to come face to face with the pain of this path in ways I can't blow off.  So I had a meltdown.

As I laid in my bed in the agony of brokenheartedness, the phone rang.  That meant that I had to get up.  The Lord sent a good friend to comfort and encourage me.  She knows the struggles I face.  She knows how painful they are.  She called just to listen and encourage.  It was important to know that I am not alone.  It didn't change the path.  It didn't eliminate the pain, but it did help me recenter on Jesus and carry on. 

After my friend picked me up off the floor, I was able to meet with PJ's therapy director who helped me prioritize his work and moved me forward in getting him help.  Last night, PJ had great victories to tell me about from school.  This morning there was a small crack in the issues that hurt me the most.  Even my dog came and gave me big sloppy kisses to comfort my heart.  One of my morning devotionals was right to the point as well, reminding me that until I get the core issue dealt with, these things will remain unbearable.  The catch is that the core issue isn't my issue, so all I can do to deal with it is continue to choose to starve it out, like starving out a cancer, until the Father can be allowed to remove it surgically. 

Sometimes the way we have to walk is not going to be easy.  James tells us:

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."--James 1:2-4

Ginny Owens once said in reference to this verse: "So there's going to come a day when I don't lack anything?!?  Well, it's not now!"  I'm not there yet either, but He promises we will get there.  In the meantime, my great Provider gives me all it takes to perservere. 

Thanks, Father!

Hearing God's Voice, 123...

^"2 But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice."...¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me"  John 10:2-5,14

Recognizing Jesus's voice is the birthright of every Christian, but it doesn't come automatically.  Just as a baby learns to recognize the voice of his mother, we have to actively work to learn the voice of our Heavenly Father.  One of the best ways to learn to hear God's voice is through the Bible.  A good friend of mine, uses a journaling process she calls 123 to teach people how to hear God's voice and it's probably the best process I've seen to date. 

1.  Write in the journal the date, time and scripture passage you're reading that day.
2.  Read the passage, paying attention for what God wants to say to you.  It is God's word.  It is living and active and He will use it to speak to you.  When you find what He wants to say, paraphrase it in your journal as if He is speaking it directly to you (because He is!!)
3.  Write a prayer of response back to Him.  You can tell him what you are going to change because of what He has spoken into your life, or describe to Him how it changes the way you see the world, or you can just write a prayer of gratitude. 

If you can, keep the journal close to you all day and meditate on it throughout the day.  Keeping your conversations with God in a journal is powerful and helps you see what kinds of themes God is using with you over time.  It's amazing to look back and see how God has changed you and what He has brought you through. 

If you want to meet my dear friend, Linda Meyers leads a Bible Study for women called LIFT (Ladies in Fellowship Together) every Wednesday night at 6:30 at First Baptist Church, Winter Garden. 

In the Garden

I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses,
And the voice I hear falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses . . .

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other, has ever, known!

He speaks and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that he gave to me,
Within my heart is ringing . . .

This song was written by a pharmacist and photographer, C. Austin Miles.  One day as he was developing some film, he had a vision of Mary Magdelene waiting in the garden, looking for the body of her Lord.  The thought was so touching to him that he quickly wrote out this beautiful hymn. 

Francis Frangipane noted that Jesus was eager for his disciples and friends to touch him when he met with them later.  It was only Mary Magdelene that he pulled away from because "He had not yet returned to His Father."  The point Francis made was that the pain and dispair of his dear friend was enough to interrupt his own trip back to commune with the Father.  He let all Heaven and His beloved Father God Himself wait so that he could comfort her.  If that doesn't touch your heart, then you need some serious soul searching.

We still have the same opportunity today.  We can come into the garden of fellowship with Him every morning, just like Mary Magdelene did--with the same passion, pain and urgency--and find Him waiting there, willing to place all of Heaven itself on hold to meet with us.  Even the most barren place can bloom in His presence, becoming more radiant than even the picture above.  He even promises this in His word to those He has grafted into Zion:

The Lord will surely comfort Zion
and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Is. 51:3

Take some time with Him today, whether it's mid-day, evening or early tomorrow morning.  I promise on His authority that He will not fail to meet you there.  He said, "They will find Me if they seek Me with all their hearts," and He hasn't changed since He made that promise.  Just talk to Him as you would a healthy Father and dear friend.  He is willing to be both for you if you will let Him. 

Tomorrow, I'll give a short road map for spending each day with Him and learning to hear his voice. 

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Collage by Altered Angel

A few days ago, I wrote about taking every thought captive.  David frequently fought depression and fear, yet his actions rarely showed his inner struggle.  Throughout the Psalms, he gives us great examples of how to take our thoughts captive.  One of the best examples is in Ps. 42 and 43.  The chorus of the song always comes back to:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 

David recognizes that his emotional state is temporary so he disciplines his thoughts to return to the good times before God rather than staying in a place of agony.  Even when his thoughts return to his pain, he drags them back to memories of worship.  He meditates on the possibilities of worship in the future, turning that thought over in his mind again and again. 

During my own long seasons of depression, I remained in the Psalms for years.  There are 150 Psalms, which means you can read 5 a day every month or you can take 5 months to go through the book.  The 31st of each month I'd do a few stanzas from Ps 119--just because it is long.  The praise would lift my heart.  The cries of distress would echo my own aches.  Through it all, I would be continually reminded that God is good and recentering my thoughts on Him would yield fruit if I waited. 

It will yield fruit for you too...

A living and active Word

I've been devouring scripture since I was a toddler.  My mom first started reading the Bible through with us when I was 2 and all that was available was King James (and not the New King James).  I have a strong auditory memory, so I've retained much of it, in the language it was first delivered to me.  I haven't intentionally memorized it, but I know it, nearly word for word.  It remains precious to me and I continue to devour it daily--to the best of my ability.   I have found it to be living and active--sharper than any two edged sword. 

Still, sometimes a new translation or a new season of life comes along and those old familiar passages take on a new vibrance--a new richness--and my heart is passionately enflamed again.  It's like walking the same familiar paths and finding them enrobed in a sunrise at spring when all is ablaze and blooming.  It was beautiful before but it becomes entrancing and makes me pause in wonder. 

For instance, Romans 5 is a familiar passage that I've heard all of my life (mostly in New International Version): 

Bok Tower Gardens

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

This is great stuff--talking about the way that God uses suffering to mold us into the character of Christ.  Here's Eugene Peterson's take on the beginning of Romans 5 in The Message:

"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.  There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"  Romans 5:1-5

See how what was familiar stands out with a new vibrance?  Just the phrase, "passionate patience" will hang with me the rest of the day, inviting me to chew on it in great delight.  Just like the two pictures above, the same place moves from simply beautiful to extravagantly amazing. 

If your time with the Lord has become stilted or dull, try checking out a new version of the same passages.  Compare them side by side.  Let your mind and heart be stirred to see the nuances scholars have observed in the original text.  Be careful to listen as the Holy Spirit points out new words or phrases from the "same old, same old" passages.  Write down what He points out so you can meditate on it throughout the day and come back to it weeks later.  Let it stir you to reconsider what the Word means in your life.  

You may never be the same.

Morning Manna

I have neglected this blog for far too long.  As with morning manna, the Lord has promised if I stop and speak with Him every morning, He will provide what I need for the day.  He has reminded me that if I don't stop, I miss out.  This morning, I believe He is extending that to this place.  He has manna for you too (and please go to Him first to receive from His hand) but He gives overflow for me to give away if I will patiently go and pick it up each morning.  As with the Israelite's manna, it may not be there later and it will spoil if kept to the next day, so I'm going to try to bring it to you, even if it is small, each day. 
I have always loved thoughts.  Some kids go around the house humming or beating on things or zooming their little cars.  I played (and prayed) with ideas: 

• Why are we here? 
• Why are we so blessed? 
• What is our purpose and meaning?

I have sung and played and taught but it has still been only a venue for the innumerable thoughts that hum continually through my head.  Some teach, some minister through music.  I guess thinking is just what I do.  He often directs my thoughts, like a playground coach--sending me here and there to find the most precious jewels. 

This week as a part of my time with Him, He has required me to sit and feel.  I'll admit it's a new practice for me.  Mostly it has been a time to feel what I haven't wanted to feel, so it hurts a bit, but I feel so much lighter for the rest of the day.  It is delightful sweetness to feel it in His presence.  He tells me that my pain is precious to Him and that He holds all of our tears in a bottle. 

Try it for yourself.  I'd love to hear what He does with you...