Choosing your focus...

^"1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."  Colossians 3:1-4

^"4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."  Is 26:4


 Circumstances are the most distracting things in the world and attitude is absolutely crucial in the middle of a battleground.  Because we are called by God to be conformed to the image of His son, we are in a battleground.  Our enemy's primary targets are our children, our marriages, our calling. 

This morning, (for that matter, this whole week) has been a struggle, and the battleground has been in my mind.  It's a battle to decide whether I'll be looking at the pain of my circumstances or the provision of My Lord.  This time it truly is a heart battle.  It's about my attitude.  Do I believe I am loved or that I am useless?  Who do I believe? 

What I believe is dependent on where I focus.  This morning, my Father's message was "Watch Me."  There have been moments today that were hard, moments that were productive.  In the end, He wins a little more each day.  It's good enough for now. 

He Comforts Us

 As a new parent, I was so attuned to my son, PJ.  There were many times I needed PJ to do things he didn't want to do and keep his cool at the same time.  We watched each other continually.  As he watched me stay calm, I could see it was easier for him to react calmly to his circumstances.  For example, when he was 5 years old, we had a string of 4 hurricanes that ran through our area, each within weeks of each other.  We had large trees in our back yard and these were serious storms, some of which lasted for days.  Our entire region was covered with blue tarps for the next 6 months or more.  We were in a 2 story house and for everyone's safety, we all slept downstairs.  We even pulled our queen size mattress down from our bedroom and slept in one of the hallways.  I watched the chandelier in our front entryway for hours as it swayed in the high winds.  To PJ, it was a gigantic family sleepover, complete with grandparents.  For months afterward, he would ask us if we could have another hurricane.  As he watched us closely, he could see that we weren't really worried and he didn't need to be either. 

 

I also watched him.  I knew where his emotional limits were and would adjust my attitude and responses to his.  I could see when he was getting truly upset and provide extra comfort to help him get through it.  Of course it was easier with only one.  (I didn't do so well with more than one...but I'm getting better). 

 

Our heavenly Father is such a great parent in that way too.  He watches us as if He has no one else to watch and He is careful to provide comfort to us when we're about to lose it.  But even more, when we watch Him as closely as our own children watch us, we quickly come to see that he is rarely upset and never out of control.  That engenders trust and we begin to react as He does.  I think I remember a verse about that...

 

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."  Ephesians 5:1-2

 

In the Garden, before the crucifixion, Jesus took time to seek out His Father's face and the Father sent the comfort he needed to make it through.  Even though Jesus knew what was going to be involved in giving up his life for us, he calmly went to the cross, "as a sheep to the shearers is silent."  Without seeking out God's face, that would be impossible for anyone.  There are parts of my days that would be impossible without going to God's face too.  I bet there are probably a few parts of your days that are that way as well...

 

A real Evangelism Explosion

This weekend sour 12 step group celebrated completing step 4: inventory.  For those who've never gone through a 12-step program, step 4 is the hardest of all the 12 steps and completing it deserves a celebration.  As we talked over the last few months, our leader told us about how evangelism happens naturally as a part of Celebrate Recovery.  She's had so many people who want to come and meet Jesus too when they find out there's a way out of their issues and addictions. 

One of the girls, not quite understanding, asked to come help with the evangelism, as if it were a program.  It didn't take long for her to see that she already is.  God has done great things in her life and she is not at all shy about telling others.  I've noticed that a lot in CR.  These are real people with real hurts.  They need Jesus every day just to get through the day--sometimes just to get through each moment.  Because His rescue is constant and critical in their lives, they are not at all shy about telling anyone that He is their life-line.  They are walk in desperation for Him and are more than eager to share the bread of life they have found with other starving people.

The truth is that we all desperately need Jesus every moment, but we don't all know it.  We were created to be like Him for the purpose of knowing and loving him.  He is our very purpose for existing, in the most literal sense.  Unfortunately, most of the "normal" world has figured out how to muddle through without Him--or worse, how to thrive on their own.  Sometimes they might experience an existential longing or post-modern ennui, but the truth is, as far as they know, their functioning doesn't depend on anyone other than themselves.  Above all men, the self-satisfied are cursed.  They enjoy the benefits a good God provides in the world they live but can't or won't recognize His hand in it.  Unless they recognize their need, they will choose themselves over God and He will let them have their disasterous choice. 

As we talked yesterday, I realized that this is why evangelism "programs" are almost always doomed from the start.  I've seen churches where the pastor begs, pleads and guilts people to come to the evangelism program every week.  They try to teach people who know no need of their own to tell other self-satisfied people why they need Him too.  Within most evangelism programs, there are always a few highly lauded salesmen who can sell ice-cream to Eskimos, and they come back each week with a new convert, but in the end they are just that--salesmen.  They go to win souls, as if it were their duty to God to meet their sales-quota for the week.  They have not been transformed so they have no real way to show their new "convert" what that transformation looks like.  They tell the truth when they say that Jesus is the answer--but they haven't needed to ask any questions for themselves yet so they're not really sure what He's the answer to.

I have seen God rescue these women's lives.  I've seen Him daily rescue my life.  I want so much for others to know Him, but I realize now that unless He shows them how much they desperately need Him, there's no place to start.  On the other hand, one transformed life, or even one faithful life that is completely dependent on the power of Christ is more attractive than a thousand programs.  Our God is living and active--and as He acts, He draws all men to Himself.  That's the only evangelism that really matters.

Hearing God's Voice, 123...

^"2 But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice."...¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me"  John 10:2-5,14

Recognizing Jesus's voice is the birthright of every Christian, but it doesn't come automatically.  Just as a baby learns to recognize the voice of his mother, we have to actively work to learn the voice of our Heavenly Father.  One of the best ways to learn to hear God's voice is through the Bible.  A good friend of mine, uses a journaling process she calls 123 to teach people how to hear God's voice and it's probably the best process I've seen to date. 

1.  Write in the journal the date, time and scripture passage you're reading that day.
2.  Read the passage, paying attention for what God wants to say to you.  It is God's word.  It is living and active and He will use it to speak to you.  When you find what He wants to say, paraphrase it in your journal as if He is speaking it directly to you (because He is!!)
3.  Write a prayer of response back to Him.  You can tell him what you are going to change because of what He has spoken into your life, or describe to Him how it changes the way you see the world, or you can just write a prayer of gratitude. 

If you can, keep the journal close to you all day and meditate on it throughout the day.  Keeping your conversations with God in a journal is powerful and helps you see what kinds of themes God is using with you over time.  It's amazing to look back and see how God has changed you and what He has brought you through. 

If you want to meet my dear friend, Linda Meyers leads a Bible Study for women called LIFT (Ladies in Fellowship Together) every Wednesday night at 6:30 at First Baptist Church, Winter Garden. 

Will you Believe God or suffer disappointment?

Saw this on facebook earlier today.  What is even more amazing to me is that it doesn't need a disaster for this to be true.  Once you really grasp the depth of the sacrifice He has made for us, it seems too good to be true. 

Someone gave me a book a few years ago entitled, Those who trust in the Lord will not be disappointed.  The point of the book is not that we will avoid disappointments, but that, in light of the immeasurable love of God, we will choose not to be disappointed.  We can choose not to be disappointed because we know God's end will not be disappointing.  Therefore, if the circumstances haven't come around for God's Glory (and our ultimate good) then God isn't done yet. 

Too many times, I mope because it looks like the end, when the end has yet to be.  Like I wrote a few weeks ago, one of the scariest things about finishing things (good or bad) is that it feels like there's nothing next.  This is silly because I know my God and I know that He is not done yet--but I still do it.  It's good to have the break inbetween the major projects God uses to shape our lives, but rather than resting peacefully in those lulls, we wonder what's coming next.  I'm still struggling with being at peace, no matter what the circumstances are--and I've been working on it for decades.  I'll admit I'm better at it than I have been, but I have a long way to go. 

Next time you are tempted to be disappointed, go back to God and ask for His perspective and look forward to a surprise.  Things may not be over yet.

Wild Goose Chase

Ok, tonight I went on a wild goose chase.  I had ordered something as a part of a fund raiser and needed to pick it up in the next county.  It was a rough day for both of the kids so we stopped by at Nana's to give them a break.  Nana was free tonight so they got to spend the evening with her--which they loved, as always.  I, on the other hand, did not have a smooth evening.  I went to the place I thought the pickup was and couldn't find it.  Looked for hours.  Nothing. 

On the way home, I heard the Lord say, Wild Goose Chase.  It sure felt like one--a futile activity that profited nothing.  I've been reading the book, the Wild Goose Chase, by Mark Batterson.  His synopsis tells it all:

Celtic Christians had a name for the Holy Spirit–An Geadh-Glas, or ‘the Wild Goose.’ The name hints at mystery. Much like a wild goose, the Spirit of God cannot be tracked or tamed. An element of danger, an air of unpredictability surround Him. And while the name may sound a little sacrilegious, I cannot think of a better description of what it’s like to follow the Spirit through life. I think the Celtic Christians were on to something…

Although it felt like the evening was a waste, there were some great things that happened.  My son's attitude greatly improved from the "first day of school" grumpies.  On the way to Nana's, he told me he had pushed his ear-plug too far into his ear canal.  Instead of needing to go to the ER or an urgent care center, Nana got it out without too much trouble, since she's a retired nurse (Thank you, again, Nana).  Katie had the fun of winning at arm wrestling with her Pap-pap--and he got to push her into the pool. 

We can never know all of the intentions and actions of an omnipotent God.  There are times it seems like we do what we need to do or follow Him where He goes and it comes to nothing.  I've learned better.  I may not always be able to see what He's doing, but I know without a doubt He is active and has a reason for even my wild goose chases.  That's what it's like to live by the Spirit:

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."  John 3:8

If you want to go where the wind goes, you will need to chase it into some odd places, but that's ok because He's promised to never leave us.  For that I'm grateful. 

What makes me a good steward of my belief...

A friend asked today: "I would like for you all to weigh in on what makes anyone a good steward of their belief."  This is a really good question.  The verse that immediately came to mind is this: 

"I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."  II Timothy 1:12  (it's even a song...that's why I have it memorized in King James--Sorry for the antique language.)

To me, being a good steward of Biblical Christianity is pretty well summed up in this verse:

1. I know the One I have believed.   I also know He is Holy and I am not. I cannot live up to His standard of Holiness any more than I could jump the Grand Canyon. I am not worthy of being in relationship with Him but He has made a way.  Therefore, I know Him more intimately than I know my own husband and He knows me even more intimately than that.  My stewardship involves daily, consistently cultivating that relationship by seeking Him for myself. 
2. I am pursuaded He is able.  I have seen by experience that He is trustworthy.  I continue to choose to trust Him.  I am also pursuaded that I am not able.  No good works of mine could erase my inability to be fit to be in relationship with Him without something to bridge that gap.  I don't just feel guilty.  I am culpable before a living God who has the right to demand of me complete perfection to be in His presence.
3. He is able to keep all that I have committed unto Him.  Since I cannot remedy this predicament, I have committed myself and my fate to His remedy.  To the best of my ability, I have committed all I have and am to His Lordship.  I am a part of His Kingdom because I choose for Him to be King in all of my affairs.
4. Against That Day.  There is a day for which I have had good reason to be afraid.  One who loves infinitely is also infinitely injured by the abuses I have caused to those He loves.  True love requires justice.  I should be held accountable for that which I have done that isn't consistent with His love for others--even if it's just missing the mark.  That is the definition of sin--missing God's mark.  Biblical Christianity recognizes this.  The fair wages to be paid for sin are death (I John 1:9).  I was created to be in relationship with God and my snubs of Him and His standards are worthy of death.  Jesus had no penalty to pay for himself and was therefore able to pay the wages for what I have done, along with the rest of humanity.  It is a free gift and includes both eternal life and adoption into His own family.  Of course, as a part of the family, there are house rules--some of which I can't yet keep--but I deeply want to.  As a dearly loved child, I desire to become like my beloved Daddy.  I obey out of profound gratitude for all He has done for me.   Obedience is only possible because He has given His own Holy Spirit to write His law on my heart in the context of an ongoing intimate relationship.  I do have the option to follow the poem Invictus, choosing to be the "master of my own fate", and God will allow that choice.  He will not force Himself on us.  He has created a place where He Is Not for those who want to be their own masters, but it is described as burning with the intensity of brimstone.  It is a place of intense lack, need and unfulfilment.  What else could it be since God is the source of all generosity, provision and good?  If it is true that we were created to be in relationship with God it also means being infinitely thwarted in the very purpose for which we were made.  It is, by definition, a lonely, selfish place created for demons who, after having seen an infinitely good God, have chosen their way over God's way. 

 This is the core of Christianity.  Being a steward of that belief means recognizing the free will of all men and the infinite workings of a soverign, fore-knowing God.  It means doing my best in the power of the Holy Spirit to give everyone I know the opportunity to see the nature of the created universe from the perspective of its Creator who is also my friend. 

It is the default position of the human heart to choose our own way rather than His way, particularly if His way hasn't been made clear and we don't understand the consequences of our own way.  Unencumbered by the facts, our own ideas seem right.  A disabled child might just think she can fly off her 3rd floor AC unit if she doesn't realize the laws of gravity will cause her pain when she hits the ground.  The law of gravity wasn't at fault and wasn't going to change just because she didn't understand it.  Thankfully, Jesus came to catch us, just like the bus driver who caught that little girl and suffered great injury in the catch.  It is their own choice to recognize the laws of the Creator or choose to see only themselves as the final accountability in their world.  Ironically, I don't know anyone who can even live up to their own standards, much less God's.   

People see it as proselytizing. I see it as reality check.  I hope that helps.

Guard your heart

Over the years I've struggled with wide ranging emotions--exuberant, passionate highs and devastating, aching lows--and very little inbetween. 

I've researched conditions like bipolar and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to try to understand why my heart is so volitile.  I'm not bipolar, but I share some of their traits.  I do struggle with SAD and at times it has been debilitating.  To some degree, I just understand that in February I have a delightful burst of energy in which I am enthusiastic, organized and creative.  Around August, I begin to slow and become critical so it's a good time for me to edit the work done in the fury of February.  By December I have to be cautious about my moods so I gently revel in the holiday festivities as a strategy to combat the peaking darkness in my mind.  I also take medication and nurture my body gently--some of the depression is a genetic issue that just won't go away without the support of some very gifted physicians.  In military terms, these are the air war strategies.

The ground war strategies include good old fashioned thought and attitude management.  II Corinthians 10:5 encompasses the heart of this strategy: 

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

That means I have a choice.  I can choose:

                 to be full of faith or full of doubt
                 to remain at rest or become frantic with fear
                 to notice God's peace or be overwhelmed by chaos
                 to be focused on the Father or focused on self

This is what it means to guard your heart.  It means guarding it from the attacks of the enemy, the criticism of well-meaning friends and your own insecurities. 

Still, there are times that my best efforts are insufficient to the task.  My heart often feels like the sandbox heart in the picture above, or worse it feels like the sand has been fused into solid, glistening glass--hard and brittle, with all the imperfections frozen forever into the matrix.  In those moments, I lean on this promise from Ezekiel 36:26:

 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

When I can't change my own heart, He promises that He can and does.  He tenderly loves me showering me with the compassion I don't even have for myself.

God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.  Romans 2:4

He loves me enough not to leave me in the abyss I have placed myself, but I still have to get my backside up, take His hand and walk out with Him.  It's hard work sometimes, but it works and I am grateful.

Thank You, Father!

"I will uphold you"

My journal entry this morning reflected my exhaustion and overwhelm.  I went to Bible Gateway and the verse was nearly a copy of what He had already said:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Today was the monthy iDignity event.  One of the issues with the homeless is that as they lose their homes, often they put their most important stuff in storage.  When they can't pay for the storage they lose all of their identification.  Without those papers it's hard to get a job or any help from social services.  My disabled friend's driver's license has been expired for over a year so she can't even do her own banking and had a hard time flying to her dad's funeral because security almost wouldn't let her on the plane.  With her limited income, the $50 it takes to renew her license was over a quarter of her disposable income in a month.  iDignity can get it renewed for her at no monetary cost, but it was a long and taxing day.

They told us to show up between 9 and 10 and we were there until almost 2.  In the process, the birth certificate she thought she had brought with her had disappeared from her purse and she was in tears, demanding to go home.  We hung in long enough to order a new birth certificate and get some other business done, but we can't get a new license until she gets the birth certificate.  We even tried to renew her license online, but since it had been expired over a year, there was nothing we could do.  Another casualty to the digital divide.

I didn't realize how traumatic this could be for her.  There's no way she could have made it through that alone and I wonder how often the burecratic process is just beyond the capacity of those it's made to serve.  It looks like it may be pretty often.  Frankly, what iDignity does is great and it's a wonder they can do it at all.  It's a lot of volunteers going through mountains of paperwork.  Restoring a person's identity is daunting under good circumstances.  For someone who is homeless or disabled, it's unbelievable.  Doing it without a friend would have been impossible.

I can't help "the homeless" or "the disabled" in my city.  I can help my friend, together with the others that have come to her aid.  She is an encouragement to me too--sometimes just for hanging in there when she's tired and beyond her limits.  We Christians often talk about loving the poor and down out as a general principle--usually by sending money for someone else to do the dirty work.  It's a lot more comfortable that way.  I didn't need a lot of money, just the time and patience to do paperwork--which isn't that hard.  I didn't help a whole bunch of people, just one.  She's going to need help for a long time, just like every other person in that line, and many more who couldn't handle that line.  One veteran just ended up leaving without even getting a number--he was off to get a beer, and it was hard to blame him.  I watched my friend try to encourage him to both stick around and seek God--to no avail.

We did make it through and He did uphold us with His righteous right hand.  He even gave us a lead on getting a new driver for Celebrate Recovery to pick up people from the homeless shelter.  It was a good day and I love how He works.

Awe and silence

"¹⁴ The Spirit lifted me up and took me away. I went in bitterness and turmoil, but the Lord’s hold on me was strong. ¹⁵ Then I came to the colony of Judean exiles in Tel-abib, beside the Kebar River. I was overwhelmed and sat among them for seven days."  Ezekiel 3:14-15

This is the state of mind Ezekiel was in after his first encounter with the Lord in Heaven.  He was on sensory overload and overwhelmed with the messages that God had given him.  I can't say that I've seen anything like what he saw, but it's been an amazing week seeing God work and I can relate.  My mind is reeling in amazement and wonder.  My mouth would be agape if I could open it at all. 

I'm beginning to understand awe and I have yet to even see Him in person.  What have I seen?  I've seen:

• Prayers answered in moments
• Comfort sent to a wounded warrior in the battle to restore addicts
• Comforters of the grieving, comforted
• Forgiveness and restoration anticipated before the offense
• A house of prayer ministering on the doorstep of homeless hotels
• dozens of kids in a missions camp come to know Jesus for themselves
• personalized comfort in the night and encouragement from friends
• A belived Christian Saint rejoicing in the weakness that God is granting him as a tool to take his mission work to another level

"But afterward the people will return and devote themselves to the Lord their God and to David’s descendant, their king. In the last days, they will tremble in awe of the Lord and of his goodness."  Hosea 3:5

Dreamscaping 9...Search out a plan...

Saw this today...love it.  Sometimes the dreams God gives us are so large and scary we don't know where to start.  Start today.  Start together.  Start by breaking things down into small pieces.  Get help breaking things down. 

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.--Pr 21:5

Dreamscaping 6--God sized dreams need God sized love

“The LORD will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” Psalm 138:8 NLT

  

This verse contains one of my favorite words in the Hebrew language, Hesed.  It is the essence of the love described in I Corinthians 13--the Love chapter.  I love that it's in this particular verse because it is His lovingkindness--His Hesed--that reassures me that God's dreams are worth pursuing, because He is the one who will work it all out. 

The cry of the psalmist is honest.  Sometimes, as we move forward into the planning stages for the dreams God has given us, it suddenly becomes obvious that God only does God-sized things.  Without Him doing it, it won't get done.  We get the joy of joining Him in it, but make no mistake:  only God does miracles.

 

 

He created us to join Him in the miracles He does, no less than He made Peter bold enough to ask to walk on water with Him.  Something strange happens then...we realize we've stepped into something much bigger than we can do--and it's scary.  That's when Jesus grabs us, pulling us out of the wind and waves that scared us and chuckles, "Why did you doubt?"  His tender mercies could never let us drown.  He made us for this. 

For those who love to read as much as I do, I have a couple of book recommendations:   

You Were Born For This and The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson.  Both are outstanding and talk candidly about the decions we have to make when we realize that this dream of God's is beyond what we can do. 

Hearing and belief

This month I've been learning about hearing God (that's good since I'll be teaching on it in two months). I thought I had this down, but I'm realizing that just hearing Him is not enough. Tonight, I got an e-mail devotional that included this little gem:

"He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises. And because of Abraham's faith, God counted him as righteous." Romans 4: 21-22

Ouch. When our dog,Cindy, died, God specifically told me as I drove away from the Vet, that He would take care of her. There isn't anything in the Bible that says He would or wouldn't. It meant a lot to me at that moment, but I just couldn't bring myself to rely on His Rhema because I didn't have the logos, even though I knew His character is honest and that He cares about the things that touch my heart. I would like to say that I couldn't trust that I had heard right, but I don't know that it would be truthful. I heard Him loud and clear but it didn't make it better. I want to think I am "fully convinced" but I'm not always there especially when its important to me.

I have been able to trust that He will take care of us as I lost my job and started a new business. I've had emotional ups and downs, but mostly I've been excited to see what He's doing. Maybe we're just used to crisis. Maybe I'm just being optimistic and idealistic. Maybe I'm just used to over-functioning when things go wrong and you can't really do anything about a losing a dog. You just hurt. Maybe I know that God will have a plan that will bring Himself glory through what happens to me and it's hard to see how a dog's life or death would be of any interest to Him.

I can say, after the experiences of this month, I know what touches us touches Him and He is far bigger and more careful than I am. Maybe it just takes time to learn trust. I envy Abraham, but I'll admit he was older than I am and maybe it's just something you learn with time. I hope so.