Reminders

Years ago, I had the chance to go on a summer internship to Maine to do research.  We had only been married a few years and the thought of spending the summer over a thousand miles away from my home and husband was pretty daunting.  During that time, the Lord gave me a scripture to encourage Me as I went.  Every time I felt anxious, He would remind me of Phillipians 4:6-7: 

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Truly, His peace did guard my heart and mind that summer.  I arrived in Maine, teary eyed and a bit frightened, but to a world overwhelmed with spring blossoms.  Within a few hours the Lord had provided me with a church, a home and a family that I still treasure today (and since I had to bike 9 miles each day, by the end of the summer I was stunningly gorgeous.)

This morning, the Lord provided me with a new trigger for this season.  I frequently feel alone right now for many reasons.  I've also been trying for several years to walk continually in His manifest presence, not allowing His worship to cease in my heart--in essence, to "Pray continually." He reminded me of how powerfully He cared for my every need while I was in Maine because I was able to take every anxiety back to Him in complete trust that He would meet that need. 

In the same way, as I feel alone, He reminded me to use that feeling as a trigger to seek out His presence again.  I need those kinds of triggers.  His presence is the perfect comfort for my isolation.  In His presence, there is the fullness of joy.  I am at peace.  I can act rather than react.  It is the ultimate stability. 

Thanks, Father, Friend and my greatest Love...

Hearing God's Voice, 123...

^"2 But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice."...¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me"  John 10:2-5,14

Recognizing Jesus's voice is the birthright of every Christian, but it doesn't come automatically.  Just as a baby learns to recognize the voice of his mother, we have to actively work to learn the voice of our Heavenly Father.  One of the best ways to learn to hear God's voice is through the Bible.  A good friend of mine, uses a journaling process she calls 123 to teach people how to hear God's voice and it's probably the best process I've seen to date. 

1.  Write in the journal the date, time and scripture passage you're reading that day.
2.  Read the passage, paying attention for what God wants to say to you.  It is God's word.  It is living and active and He will use it to speak to you.  When you find what He wants to say, paraphrase it in your journal as if He is speaking it directly to you (because He is!!)
3.  Write a prayer of response back to Him.  You can tell him what you are going to change because of what He has spoken into your life, or describe to Him how it changes the way you see the world, or you can just write a prayer of gratitude. 

If you can, keep the journal close to you all day and meditate on it throughout the day.  Keeping your conversations with God in a journal is powerful and helps you see what kinds of themes God is using with you over time.  It's amazing to look back and see how God has changed you and what He has brought you through. 

If you want to meet my dear friend, Linda Meyers leads a Bible Study for women called LIFT (Ladies in Fellowship Together) every Wednesday night at 6:30 at First Baptist Church, Winter Garden. 

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Collage by Altered Angel

A few days ago, I wrote about taking every thought captive.  David frequently fought depression and fear, yet his actions rarely showed his inner struggle.  Throughout the Psalms, he gives us great examples of how to take our thoughts captive.  One of the best examples is in Ps. 42 and 43.  The chorus of the song always comes back to:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 

David recognizes that his emotional state is temporary so he disciplines his thoughts to return to the good times before God rather than staying in a place of agony.  Even when his thoughts return to his pain, he drags them back to memories of worship.  He meditates on the possibilities of worship in the future, turning that thought over in his mind again and again. 

During my own long seasons of depression, I remained in the Psalms for years.  There are 150 Psalms, which means you can read 5 a day every month or you can take 5 months to go through the book.  The 31st of each month I'd do a few stanzas from Ps 119--just because it is long.  The praise would lift my heart.  The cries of distress would echo my own aches.  Through it all, I would be continually reminded that God is good and recentering my thoughts on Him would yield fruit if I waited. 

It will yield fruit for you too...

Guard your heart

Over the years I've struggled with wide ranging emotions--exuberant, passionate highs and devastating, aching lows--and very little inbetween. 

I've researched conditions like bipolar and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to try to understand why my heart is so volitile.  I'm not bipolar, but I share some of their traits.  I do struggle with SAD and at times it has been debilitating.  To some degree, I just understand that in February I have a delightful burst of energy in which I am enthusiastic, organized and creative.  Around August, I begin to slow and become critical so it's a good time for me to edit the work done in the fury of February.  By December I have to be cautious about my moods so I gently revel in the holiday festivities as a strategy to combat the peaking darkness in my mind.  I also take medication and nurture my body gently--some of the depression is a genetic issue that just won't go away without the support of some very gifted physicians.  In military terms, these are the air war strategies.

The ground war strategies include good old fashioned thought and attitude management.  II Corinthians 10:5 encompasses the heart of this strategy: 

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

That means I have a choice.  I can choose:

                 to be full of faith or full of doubt
                 to remain at rest or become frantic with fear
                 to notice God's peace or be overwhelmed by chaos
                 to be focused on the Father or focused on self

This is what it means to guard your heart.  It means guarding it from the attacks of the enemy, the criticism of well-meaning friends and your own insecurities. 

Still, there are times that my best efforts are insufficient to the task.  My heart often feels like the sandbox heart in the picture above, or worse it feels like the sand has been fused into solid, glistening glass--hard and brittle, with all the imperfections frozen forever into the matrix.  In those moments, I lean on this promise from Ezekiel 36:26:

 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

When I can't change my own heart, He promises that He can and does.  He tenderly loves me showering me with the compassion I don't even have for myself.

God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.  Romans 2:4

He loves me enough not to leave me in the abyss I have placed myself, but I still have to get my backside up, take His hand and walk out with Him.  It's hard work sometimes, but it works and I am grateful.

Thank You, Father!

Morning Manna

I have neglected this blog for far too long.  As with morning manna, the Lord has promised if I stop and speak with Him every morning, He will provide what I need for the day.  He has reminded me that if I don't stop, I miss out.  This morning, I believe He is extending that to this place.  He has manna for you too (and please go to Him first to receive from His hand) but He gives overflow for me to give away if I will patiently go and pick it up each morning.  As with the Israelite's manna, it may not be there later and it will spoil if kept to the next day, so I'm going to try to bring it to you, even if it is small, each day. 
I have always loved thoughts.  Some kids go around the house humming or beating on things or zooming their little cars.  I played (and prayed) with ideas: 

• Why are we here? 
• Why are we so blessed? 
• What is our purpose and meaning?

I have sung and played and taught but it has still been only a venue for the innumerable thoughts that hum continually through my head.  Some teach, some minister through music.  I guess thinking is just what I do.  He often directs my thoughts, like a playground coach--sending me here and there to find the most precious jewels. 

This week as a part of my time with Him, He has required me to sit and feel.  I'll admit it's a new practice for me.  Mostly it has been a time to feel what I haven't wanted to feel, so it hurts a bit, but I feel so much lighter for the rest of the day.  It is delightful sweetness to feel it in His presence.  He tells me that my pain is precious to Him and that He holds all of our tears in a bottle. 

Try it for yourself.  I'd love to hear what He does with you...