Out of work, again?

I have to admit.  Trust doesn't come easy with Me.  The Lord works really hard to continue to win my trust--something He shouldn't have to do, but He condescends to my weakness. 

This week I turned in the final report draft to our review team.  As soon as I turned it in, John asked me if that means my job is over. The truth is that it probably does.  There will be a little more work but it will end soon. When I lost my job 17 months ago, I started a business and it's doing ok, but not great--we've done better than break even but it hasn't brought in anything close to the income I made before.  I got this job working for UF when I looked into do a PhD.  It's been a good research project and it's come out in a completely different way than it would have with a typical grad student straight out of school.  It's also been a small but steady income. 

Most of the time, I'm not all that concerned about that because I really do trust that the Lord will provide. When He asked me to go back to work, I went back on the condition that I would do what He sent me, but I wouldn't look for it.  That way things wouldn't get out of balance.  He's always sent me what I needed and we're doing ok. 

Just as a confirmation that He will provide, less than an hour after I sent the last chapter out, I received the contract I've been expecting for over a month.  Yaay!!  So what about the worry?  It's a continuing services contract--I need to have costly insurance for it and I have no idea if I'll get any work from it at all.  It's just a part of business and I knew I would need to do it at some point.  A contract is a contract--and a glimmer of hope for consistent work. 

Still, I'm human and My Father and Friend knows that at some point I could worry and I don't like to risk money.  Just so that I would really get that He has this all in His control, last night He set up another divine appointment:

As I went into the prayer room before the service, I felt a familiar divine stillness--He wasn't pressing me to pray about anything, just wait in His presence.  I could hear the worship time coming to an end but His presence wouldn't lift and allow me to go into join it.  After a little while, the same couple came in and joined me that had come a few weeks ago.  I prayed with them again and they chose to stay and just sit in the stillness with me.  I laid hands on his head to pray for him because he has frequent headaches.  Usually as God heals people when I lay hands on them I feel their pain and feel it release as He provides healing. It gives me a sense of compassion for them, shows me where to pray and sometimes even why they hurt.  This time, though I felt the Spirit's blessing on Him, I felt nothing else. 

We talked for awhile longer about the delight of seeing God work and at some point I mentioned that I happen to be a traffic engineer.  He mentioned his fears about a roadway that had been planned through a mobile home park he owns.  Before we parted, he asked for a business card.  There are many ways I could help him in the future, if he needs it.  Nothing is guaranteed, but I could easily recognize the nod from My Friend that He has my work life in His control.

Thanks!

uncertainty

It feels strange that all of us are so profoundly influenced by circumstances that are so far out of our control--Maybe this is the first society that would even see that as strange.

I'm coming to realize that the Florida State Legislature may completely eliminate the need for most of what I do within the next few weeks. It is my job to make sure that when an individual development is planned, transportation facilities (read that "roads") will be available to serve all of the vehicular whims of its patrons, at least within the first 3 years. The unintended consequence of this policy has been that development doesn't occur in old areas because they're out of room to serve the cars they have. Instead, people build out in the hinterlands because there's still plenty of room to drive. The proposed laws mean Florida is throwing in the towel-- individual projects won't be judged that way. Instead the State will require the local jurisdictions to make sure that people can get from here to there, without insisting on how they do it. (I prefer teleportation.) This could be a disaster or a really good thing. No one knows yet.

So, I'm not sure what I'll end up doing, if I end up doing anything like what I do now. Yes, I'm wondering--with momentary lapses into worry. What is most comforting is my contract with the Father (see previous post). It's his job to keep me busy and fed. It's my job to do what He provides for me to do. I'm considering other careers, but until this evaporates--which may not be a long wait--I'm doing what my hand finds to do.

I have a feeling we're all facing this kind of uncertainty right now. We've provided really well for ourselves--what will happen when, through no fault of our own, we can no longer do that? We will sit down and cry. We will remember it wasn't us that provided in the first place. Then after some understandable grief, we will take our empty hands and open them toward the Father.

I love it when a plan comes together...