Group Rules

Last night I started a class on the Connected Child.  It's about how to connect well and provide a healthy environment for kids (or adults) from hard places.  We were created to connect, but emotional connection is unbelievably difficult for many.  We instinctively reach out for others, but without someone to reach back, we don't learn connection.  It takes two to tango.

One of the things I found compelling were the class/group rules the teacher introduced near the middle of the class:

1.  Stick Together
2.  No Hurts
3.  Have Fun

The elegant simplicity of these rules belies their profound universality--(wow).  In a nutshell, these summarize and flesh out the second great command:  Love your neighbor as yourself.  The point of the group is to connect and learn connection, so we have to stick together.  We can't hang in together if we intentionally or carelessly hurt each other and we won't stick together if we aren't actively working toward having fun together. 

I'm going to find a way to post this in my home as the new home rules. 

In the Garden

I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses,
And the voice I hear falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses . . .

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other, has ever, known!

He speaks and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that he gave to me,
Within my heart is ringing . . .

This song was written by a pharmacist and photographer, C. Austin Miles.  One day as he was developing some film, he had a vision of Mary Magdelene waiting in the garden, looking for the body of her Lord.  The thought was so touching to him that he quickly wrote out this beautiful hymn. 

Francis Frangipane noted that Jesus was eager for his disciples and friends to touch him when he met with them later.  It was only Mary Magdelene that he pulled away from because "He had not yet returned to His Father."  The point Francis made was that the pain and dispair of his dear friend was enough to interrupt his own trip back to commune with the Father.  He let all Heaven and His beloved Father God Himself wait so that he could comfort her.  If that doesn't touch your heart, then you need some serious soul searching.

We still have the same opportunity today.  We can come into the garden of fellowship with Him every morning, just like Mary Magdelene did--with the same passion, pain and urgency--and find Him waiting there, willing to place all of Heaven itself on hold to meet with us.  Even the most barren place can bloom in His presence, becoming more radiant than even the picture above.  He even promises this in His word to those He has grafted into Zion:

The Lord will surely comfort Zion
and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Is. 51:3

Take some time with Him today, whether it's mid-day, evening or early tomorrow morning.  I promise on His authority that He will not fail to meet you there.  He said, "They will find Me if they seek Me with all their hearts," and He hasn't changed since He made that promise.  Just talk to Him as you would a healthy Father and dear friend.  He is willing to be both for you if you will let Him. 

Tomorrow, I'll give a short road map for spending each day with Him and learning to hear his voice. 

Changes

It's interesting how change and catastrophe can so quickly convert to the excitement of what C.S. Lewis called a Eucatastrophe--a sudden, irreversible, monumental salvation. There's even cliche's to refer to it:

"darkest before the dawn..."
"every cloud has a silver lining..."
"I love it when a plan comes together..."

Now, I am a firm believer that no one should use clouds for silver-mining as a practice, but clouds will come whether you look for them or not. I've even known people to assume that God sent the clouds because you needed the silver--which I think is not out of the realm of possibility, but frankly not necessary because, again, clouds come anyway--no sense in adding to the normal process it will happen on its own.

At this moment, our world is gripped in the throes of what many are calling an economic catastrophe. I'm not sure it's much more than a strophe, but there are a lot of people hurting. The difference between a catastrophe and a Eucatastrophe is found in Ps. 107. In each stanza of this hymn someone is in trouble, they cried out to the Lord, and He heard their cry and rescued them.

Trouble comes, of that we can be sure. Rescue comes, of that we can be even surer. The difference is the asking--and in knowing who to ask.

Just in case you're thinking this is some namby-pamby, never faced anything kind of plattitude, you may be right--all pain is unique and our pain could be a walk in the park for many. As time goes on, I'll let you see the pattern of Eucatastrophe that we have experienced. I'll probably blog about Down syndrome, transportation, public policy, prayer, Psalms, Proverbs, the heritage of the land, mental illness and anything else that hits the wide net of my fancy. I'll try not to hurt anyone as I go along, but there are no guarantees, and not all hurts are bad.

I met a dear friend again after many years on Monday. When we had been spending time together 4 years ago, she was going through a painless divorce at her choosing and she told me that I was the only one in her life that told her she was making a serious mistake. She is now a separated from her second husband who hurt her as badly as she hurt her first husband and is raising her beautiful daughter alone. She knew things weren't always great in my marriage and couldn't understand why I would stick it out. In the end, John and I have worked through some of our difficulty and have much to go, but are content together after 18 years. She would give anything to redo that mistake. My heart was broken for her because I really hoped I was going to end up wrong--that somehow the laws of the universe regarding sowing and reaping would just not apply. It didn't work that way--it almost never does. She is delighted that she now knows and can move forward to try to save her second marriage, if that is possible. She's also far more bold to stand up for what is right before her own friends, even if it isn't convenient. Hard lesson. I suppose those are the ones best learned.

If you think I'm claiming God friendship as a unique calling, that would be a joke--I can take no credit for what He has done and all who call on the name of the Lord have the same opportunity for that relationship. I can take no credit for being chosen by God as a friend--I am frequently disloyal and in no way worthy of that friendship. Still, I would like to think that our relationship has been the defining characteristic of who I am and have become as a person.

Ps 107:
⁴¹...He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction,
And makes his families like a flock.
⁴²The upright see it and are glad;
But all unrighteousness shuts its mouth.
⁴³Who is wise? Let him give heed to these things,
And consider the lovingkindnesses of the LORD.