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| Letting go into a leap of faith... |
"Lord, I know I'm capable of a lot, but it is nothing in comparison to what You can do. What I can do will never be enough. I need You to do what You can do."
I was born with great abilities. My biggest struggle growing up has been figuring out the difference between what I could do and what I should do. I have a better idea at 42 of what God has called me to, but mostly I've given up looking for a calling. I do what the Lord says to do (as well as I can). I trust Him and He leads me. He sends me work. He sends me people to pray for and tells me what to pray. He hears me when I call, calms my fears and quiets me with His love. He is amazing and I look forward to an eternity of exploring the depths of His presence.
In the meantime, in answer to my prayer, He has placed me more than once in the position where I couldn't do anything. He has lead me directly into situations that were beyond my capability to complete and left me hanging, waiting for Him to do what only He could do. It hasn't stopped being frustrating. It also hasn't stopped being amazing.
For instance, my body doesn't do what it used to. My kids take more attention. So, I lost my job--the job He provided. He pushed me almost immediately into creating a company. It was almost 6 months before I had any work for my company, but in the meantime He provided good research work through UF and increased my husband's income by about 25%. (He's having to learn to trust too). I keep having to do things I don't think I can do and He keeps making up the difference.
I don't trust in my own abilities to do anything of any consequence any more. Only the work He does lasts--or even works for that matter. Obedience isn't as much of a chore, it is the key to a spectactular adventure. I can't wait each day to see what He's going to do next. As with any other adventure, it's not always safe, but He's good and trustworthy.
I don't know what's next, but I know Him and that's enough...
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