Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Crisis and failure...
I have a dear friend who went through a serious crisis again this week. She's experienced significant pain throughout her life, both physical and emotional, and it often erupts in gut-wrenching crisis without warning. Early in our relationship I committed that I would hang in with her, knowing that it wouldn't be easy. But, as a part of that commitment, I promised her that I would continually redirect her to Jesus as the source for her hope. I know I have nothing to offer her that will fix her life. It took her 49 years to get to this place. Only God can get her out of it.
This week, I failed her. The crisis came in hot and fast. It was life and death. It was weeping and gnashing of teeth. I managed the circumstances. I worked the details. There were a lot of details that needed addressing. I thought I encouraged her family to support her, but found out later they only saw it as being pushy. Worst of all, the closest I could do to draw her back to Christ was to ask her again if God is good (as she knows He is), and encourage her to choose loyalty to Him over trying to please her unpleasble dying father.
Even more, in failing her, I failed myself. Every time I've been able to bring her back to Jesus, it has also allowed me to release her back to His care for my own sake. I have repented and released her again, but it makes my heart ache knowing that I only committed to do one thing and didn't do it well. I spent time helping her that I needed to spend on my own home and family.
I will learn better. I will do better. I will love my Lord and friend better.
"12 Not that I have already obtained all this or have already reached my goal, but I press on in order to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider to have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching out to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."--Phil 3:12-14