Saturday, April 25, 2009

The foolishness of Solomon

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Solomon was given wisdom beyond any in all history--but like the proverbial horse--it did him little good. God loved Solomon dearly, but he chose many wives who lead him to relationships with other demon-gods, betraying the heart of the one who had gifted him so and leading all of Israel into idolatry again.

I saw a dear old friend the other day--someone I love and who mentored me in precious ways. Someone who was often wise beyond his years. He has since traded his wisdom for madness and gone off to worship all gods, just as Solomon did. My heart is truly broken for him, though he seems happy in his "church" life. I did not have the heart to do as I should and scream at him for all the pain he will cause himself through this. I don't know if that is a betrayal of my Friend, a betrayal of my mentor, or just a recognition of my own failure and inability to change how it is.

I knew that there was little way to change his mind or heart. He has found power there that we had never shown him. The enemy promised him a BB gun when the Father had a rifle waiting for him. The enemy would encourage him to use that BB gun in any way he pleases. The Father would have strict intentions regarding what the rifle is for. Many Christians are so afraid of the rifle that we won't even pick it up--most in the west are suspicious that Christ has no real power at all--when is the last time you actually saw it?

We have had a form of godliness but denied its power, some out of ignorance, some out of fear. It is easy for the desire to control our world to grow into a desire to control our God, but He will brook no control from us. He is God, not us and He (graciously) will have it no other way. My mentor is, at least in part, a casualty of our desire to keep things under our own control. Unfortunately, he still has that BB gun and will probably wound himself and many others with it, and believe all the while that he is doing a good and blessed work.

Father, Friend...I'm sorry...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Middle of the Night worries

I awoke at 11 tonight and to the smell of hot wax. I awoke from a mild nightmare about losing my job--nothing truly disturbing, but wearisome. I've looked all over for the source of the smell and can only tell that it's inside our warm house and not outside and doesn't seem to be getting worse. The internet is clueless. I walked out to the air-handler and now my feet are dirty.

I know it wasn't my Friend who awoke me. When He calls, he leaves a calling card--usually on a clock somewhere. We made an agreement several years ago about nighttime rendezvous so that I could tell the difference.

So I'm up. It's not Him, it's me. I worry that I might have missed His call on other nights and my heart is becoming dull to His cry. He assures me otherwise. I do have fears--is the house burning down? Am I useless--at home and at work? Today was a long day and included a long string of headaches about the analysis part of a report that I thought was finished.

Ginny Owens has a really great song that includes all of her "pearls of wisdom" including this jem:

I don't know much, this much is true.
My worries are endless and answers are few.
But life has caused me to conclude,
I can face what I don't know by singin' about what I do.

Which leads me to:

Great is Thy faithfulness; Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed, Thy Hand hath provided.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

ok, that's not a bad place to go...Good night...