Sunday, July 29, 2012
Out of work, again?
This week I turned in the final report draft to our review team. As soon as I turned it in, John asked me if that means my job is over. The truth is that it probably does. There will be a little more work but it will end soon. When I lost my job 17 months ago, I started a business and it's doing ok, but not great--we've done better than break even but it hasn't brought in anything close to the income I made before. I got this job working for UF when I looked into do a PhD. It's been a good research project and it's come out in a completely different way than it would have with a typical grad student straight out of school. It's also been a small but steady income.
Most of the time, I'm not all that concerned about that because I really do trust that the Lord will provide. When He asked me to go back to work, I went back on the condition that I would do what He sent me, but I wouldn't look for it. That way things wouldn't get out of balance. He's always sent me what I needed and we're doing ok.
Just as a confirmation that He will provide, less than an hour after I sent the last chapter out, I received the contract I've been expecting for over a month. Yaay!! So what about the worry? It's a continuing services contract--I need to have costly insurance for it and I have no idea if I'll get any work from it at all. It's just a part of business and I knew I would need to do it at some point. A contract is a contract--and a glimmer of hope for consistent work.
Still, I'm human and My Father and Friend knows that at some point I could worry and I don't like to risk money. Just so that I would really get that He has this all in His control, last night He set up another divine appointment:
As I went into the prayer room before the service, I felt a familiar divine stillness--He wasn't pressing me to pray about anything, just wait in His presence. I could hear the worship time coming to an end but His presence wouldn't lift and allow me to go into join it. After a little while, the same couple came in and joined me that had come a few weeks ago. I prayed with them again and they chose to stay and just sit in the stillness with me. I laid hands on his head to pray for him because he has frequent headaches. Usually as God heals people when I lay hands on them I feel their pain and feel it release as He provides healing. It gives me a sense of compassion for them, shows me where to pray and sometimes even why they hurt. This time, though I felt the Spirit's blessing on Him, I felt nothing else.
We talked for awhile longer about the delight of seeing God work and at some point I mentioned that I happen to be a traffic engineer. He mentioned his fears about a roadway that had been planned through a mobile home park he owns. Before we parted, he asked for a business card. There are many ways I could help him in the future, if he needs it. Nothing is guaranteed, but I could easily recognize the nod from My Friend that He has my work life in His control.