Every year our office provides Christmas gifts for children from the Deveraux organization here in Central Florida. Last night was the Christmas party where we got to give out the gifts we had all so carefully selected for our adopted kids. The girl I pulled this year loved gospel music and crafts so it was an absolute hoot to pick out things for her. I found makeup, a jewelery making kit, watercolor pencils and some really cool clothes. I also included a modern version Bible and a Winnie the Pooh journal and wrote in it describing how I would prayer journal with my Friend. She had written that she loved Winnie the Pooh.
This is the first year I've gone to the party. Our office manager mentioned that the kids often look around for who the gift was from so I wanted to be there for her. Kate and I went and we had a blast.
When I met the child I sponsored, it was a delight. I remember being 14--the acne, the friends, the joys, the struggles. I noticed that she was limping a bit during the night and her counselor told me that it was from a suicide attempt earlier this year. My heart both soared and sank. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts starting at age 10. For the longest time I thought everyone did. I know the constant war that goes on and the struggle she will face, probably for the rest of her life. She's in good hands there, but it was even more of a reminder of where I've come from and where the Lord has taken me. Still, my heart breaks for her pain because I have known it well.
One of the words the Lord has given me for the year is Joy. I'm not sure what that will mean, but I'm looking forward to finding out. I know my Friend has been there through all of the past pain. He will be with her for all of her current pain and he will provide Joy at His right hand. In His presence, there is the fullness of Joy and I am grateful for that continual presence.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Halloween parenting...
I hate Halloween--I hate everything it stands for. I hate the position it puts me in. I hate the temptation and the sugar rush (ok, I love the sugar rush--but I'd like to be able to get into my jeans).
PJ again asked me why he couldn't go around with his friends tonight. We made that call several years ago and PJ has been content with his own "give a treat" tradition--his idea. This year, it was more about going around with friends than anything else, which makes my heart hurt. On our weekly shopping trip we talked again about making choices between honoring the high holiday of our enemy or remaining loyal to our Father and Friend and trusting Him to provide. We talked about all the lack we've never experienced and that God is faithful and trustworthy and will honor those who honor Him. It still felt hollow, I'll admit, regardless of how much I trust my Friend to provide. A fun time with friends is hard for me to turn down, regardless of the occaision.
We had been trying to make it to Awana at a neighborhood church for several weeks and this seemed like as good an opportunity as any, so I piled a pouting PJ in the car and left for church. When our pastor friend walked us in, one of the adults from PJ's school immediately recognized him and gave him a truly warm welcome. He had a great time and memorized 4 Bible verses. Not only that, they walked around all of the classes in their own candy give-away.
I don't know that PJ noticed, but he probably got more candy and connected with more people there than if he had gone out with the neighbors. It was well worth the trip.
Thanks, Lord! You came through on the promise I made my son that You would honor those who honor you. It's one thing to come through on promises to me--Coming through for my son means even more to me and to his fledgling faith. There truly are none like You.
PJ again asked me why he couldn't go around with his friends tonight. We made that call several years ago and PJ has been content with his own "give a treat" tradition--his idea. This year, it was more about going around with friends than anything else, which makes my heart hurt. On our weekly shopping trip we talked again about making choices between honoring the high holiday of our enemy or remaining loyal to our Father and Friend and trusting Him to provide. We talked about all the lack we've never experienced and that God is faithful and trustworthy and will honor those who honor Him. It still felt hollow, I'll admit, regardless of how much I trust my Friend to provide. A fun time with friends is hard for me to turn down, regardless of the occaision.
We had been trying to make it to Awana at a neighborhood church for several weeks and this seemed like as good an opportunity as any, so I piled a pouting PJ in the car and left for church. When our pastor friend walked us in, one of the adults from PJ's school immediately recognized him and gave him a truly warm welcome. He had a great time and memorized 4 Bible verses. Not only that, they walked around all of the classes in their own candy give-away.
I don't know that PJ noticed, but he probably got more candy and connected with more people there than if he had gone out with the neighbors. It was well worth the trip.
Thanks, Lord! You came through on the promise I made my son that You would honor those who honor you. It's one thing to come through on promises to me--Coming through for my son means even more to me and to his fledgling faith. There truly are none like You.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
God winks...
This has been a month of secret winks from the Holy Spirit.
You know the scenario...It's the climax of the movie. The hero and damsel are tied up in an old warehouse with the villain about to complete his catastrophic evil-doing. Suddenly, the hero winks at the heroine as you see that he is not only free, but now has the upper hand. The day is all but saved and the obligatory fist-fight hasn't even started.
As you get to know someone intimately you begin to share little names, secret phrases or inside jokes that have meaning to you because of the history you share. The month started out on a fairly critical note, with minute failures and simple mistakes blowing up with cataclysmic impacts. The wrong printout gets used wrongly and the resulting conclusions cause everyone great embarrassment. Then we were submitting a large proposal for a multi-year contract only to find that key parts of the text were printed withoutanyspacesbetweenthewords (aaaakkk!!!)
Still, as I turned the proposal in to the jurisdiction (with a heavy heart) something surprising happened--God winked. How he winked is between us, but suffice it to say that no one else would have ever noticed, but it was as obvious to me as a neon billboard flashing in front of my nose. Then later in the process, He did it again. I had no idea what the result would be for all of our prayer and effort, but I knew with utter certainty that His Hand was in action and it would not be long before something amazing happened. Several people said things that could have discouraged me as we prepared for the face to face interviews, but I couldn't erase the impact of that secret communication. My heart rested in complete trust. In the end, we scored as high as we possibly could have and won a space in the contract--my very first interview in my entire career and my very first win.
I get the feeling that our Heavenly Father is constantly trying to communicate His boundless love and His power to intervene on our behalf. I am so grateful for the years that we have come to know each other well and that we have little secrets between us. It has been worth every minute.
He's waiting to share His secrets with you too.
You know the scenario...It's the climax of the movie. The hero and damsel are tied up in an old warehouse with the villain about to complete his catastrophic evil-doing. Suddenly, the hero winks at the heroine as you see that he is not only free, but now has the upper hand. The day is all but saved and the obligatory fist-fight hasn't even started.
As you get to know someone intimately you begin to share little names, secret phrases or inside jokes that have meaning to you because of the history you share. The month started out on a fairly critical note, with minute failures and simple mistakes blowing up with cataclysmic impacts. The wrong printout gets used wrongly and the resulting conclusions cause everyone great embarrassment. Then we were submitting a large proposal for a multi-year contract only to find that key parts of the text were printed withoutanyspacesbetweenthewords (aaaakkk!!!)
Still, as I turned the proposal in to the jurisdiction (with a heavy heart) something surprising happened--God winked. How he winked is between us, but suffice it to say that no one else would have ever noticed, but it was as obvious to me as a neon billboard flashing in front of my nose. Then later in the process, He did it again. I had no idea what the result would be for all of our prayer and effort, but I knew with utter certainty that His Hand was in action and it would not be long before something amazing happened. Several people said things that could have discouraged me as we prepared for the face to face interviews, but I couldn't erase the impact of that secret communication. My heart rested in complete trust. In the end, we scored as high as we possibly could have and won a space in the contract--my very first interview in my entire career and my very first win.
I get the feeling that our Heavenly Father is constantly trying to communicate His boundless love and His power to intervene on our behalf. I am so grateful for the years that we have come to know each other well and that we have little secrets between us. It has been worth every minute.
He's waiting to share His secrets with you too.
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